Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Admission of guilt

My afternoot tv schedule has been completely disrupted. Shook-Up. That in and of itself is so sad. But in my world, thats a big deal.

Good Day Live was taken off the air. I hate to admit, this used to be a must-watch for me. After Jullian and Dorth got the axe, I still watched. Basically, I felt bad for Debbie Matenopoluis. I kinda liked her on the View, and felt sorry for her when she lost that job. She seemed so happy to be working again, so I felt bad for her when they took it off the air. I was neutral on Athel (but I liked her more than Dorothy), and Steve was funny. So my 1:00 time slot is open.

The once vacant 3:00-4:00 slot has been magically filled. A surprising new favorite has come into my life in the past week or two. It's callen Starting Over. It's like the Lifetime version of Real World. And I love it. Five women live together in a house and have life coaches. They get these tasks to do in order to change something about themselves. Evveryone has a secret and they're juicy. And today someone left! Oh the drama.

So from 2:00-3:00 it's baby story and 3:00-4:00 it's Starting Over. Sometimes I cry during every show! It is really pathetic.

Come to think of it. I've been on a real self-improvement jag lately. I always try to watch these shows and absorb some of the revelations by osmosis. Like, someone is going to feel the exact same way I do and and Oprah, or Dr. Phil or Alyana (on starting over) or whoever is going to cure them. I just hope it's not Dr. Phil, becasue he would defiantely make me cry.

Friday, March 18, 2005


Boy do I feel like shit. Not only did I throw up this morning, but I am still feeling crappy and it's almost 5p.m. Note to self: This is why you don't drink beer. EVER AGAIN. Stick to liquor.

We have to go to Chuck E. Cheese's tonight for my soon to be neice's first birthday party. I am excited only for the pizza.

Did not go to the gym. I am really starting to feel like a girl sausage. When I was out getting my Neice's gift I had to buy myself a new pair of jeans and a new shirt becasue I feel so shitty and all my clothes are tight! I also bought bronzer as I am Pasty.

I went to target and was depressed by all the college kids I saw there, getting stuff for spring break. It made me feel really nostalgic for College. Sometimes I feel a lot older than 23. I know it sounds weird because in the grand scheme of things 23 is so young. But I am having a hard time adjusting to adulthood. I feel so much guilt for working at home.

I was at a bar last night being a good wingman for one of my friends. She was drunkin' it up with this guy, So my FSIL and I were chatting away with his friend. He asked my what I did (like for a job) and I got all toungue tied. I think that was partially responsible for the drinking-with-reckless-abandon that ensued.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

To Do List

THINGS to do tomorrow (please!)
St Pats/Birthday outfits
b-day gift

Overheard: I can hardly wait to get home and have sex with you all night long!
- FFIL ( future father in law) to FMIL (Future Mother in Law) at last night's mexican birthday extravaganza! You have to know them, but it was actually cute!

So much shit to do! No motovation. Have taken like a bird to water to a nightly buzz though! When's happy hour?
Sat on chubby hangover ass today. Lied about going to the gym. I did take the dog for a walk though (obvously felt guilt about gym)
Fights with fiancee: 1 (day is not over)
Smokedd: 5x
Things crossed off today's list: BIG fat zero just like my JLO ass!


Monday, March 14, 2005

Crisis diverted

Well, last week I was really scared. My period was 4 days late, enough time for me to officially freak out. Thankfully, no bun in the oven yet.

C. and I have been going through a lot of growing pains recently. We have just been "off" . He blames me, I blame him. Were's DR. Phil when you need him?

We are under a lot of stress because of the guy next door. I don't know if we should move or not. Apparently there's a job in Florida...but I'm not going to hold my breath. I think we're in Columbus for the long. haul. One the one hand, I find that thought comforting and on the other it is incredibly stifling. I just home we don't get some grazy ghetto neighbors. I really think Charls. would have a heart attack.

Sad realization: Even though no wedding plans have been made, my insurance doesn't cover maternity yet, and my parents would FREAK OUT, we were both a little sad when AF showed up. I think that C. and I are ready to grow up, we just don't have an excuse. Plus, I really don't want to plan a wedding!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Monthly freak out

Okay so here's the deal. Part of my PMS "process" is that I have to freak out once a month that I am pregnant. I freak out mainly because I want a baby so badly, but know that now is not the time. Fo one, we haven't even set a wedding date yet. And I know how it works: 1.Comes love (check) 2.Marrige (in progress) 3. Baby Carriage (shit please not yet). You'd think after literlly years and years of this monthy tourture, you'd think I'd would have developed a more suitable tracking method for these sort of things, but I haven't. Everytime I do remember to track these things, I manage to freak out even more. It sucks becasue we spend the rest of the month talking about what it will be like when... And for a week or so we think fuck, what have we done! I get all hormonal and rehearse the tear filled conversation which I will have to call my parents and destroy their world.

But that's would be just my luck. Live with boyfriend against parent's wishes, get engaged and everyhing is just ducky. For a month or two.

I lied. My period was supposed to come today. I'm still waiting. Shit fuck.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

hey stranger

I recieved and e-mai this weekend from my boarding school roommate. She was at another one of my old friend's bachelorette parties over the weekend and she just dropped me a line to let me know she was thinking of me. While I was happy to get the e-mail, it also made me sad. I really wish I had been better about keeping in touch with all of my old friends. Somehow, they have all managed to stay close and I sank into oblivion. I feel kind of embarassed that I have no exciting job, live in Ohio, am basically so vanilla. My life used to be interesting. Oh well, I am really going to try this time to stay in touch. It makes me want to try and get in touch with some people that I've forgot over the years. I am kind of lonely here, and it shames me to admit that Charlie's crazy family and sister's in law are a major source of my entertainment/social life.

It makes me kind of sad to have to "real" friends anymore (at least ones that live here).

Sunday, March 06, 2005

What have I done to deserve all this?

Today is as close to perfect as it gets. My parents were in town this weekend for a de-lightful visit. Really, it was quite nice. The bought us a Couch! It is really so nice. Charlie and I just keep sitting on it and looking at each other like Oh My God, we are both on the couch. At the same time. It is tooooo comfy. We have retired the remaining piece of the sectional to the third story.

Now I have the house all to myself. New Couch+Sole remote operator=one happy lady.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

t-minus one house and fifteen minutes....

Parentals coming must stop cleaning..............................................

Thursday, March 03, 2005

An afternoon with my mother-in-law involving hemmoroids. and drugs.

I spent a surprisingly non-awkward afternoon with my MIL. She had to get a colonoscopy (sometimes i wonder, do I really want to marry into a family with this many "digestive" issues?) She needed someone to pick her up after the procedure, and since I'm unemployed these are the types of things I do to fill my day. Charlie had a GI series done about a year ago and the twilight drugs made him absolutely loopy. So I was kind of intrigued as to how she would act under the influence of drugs.

I picked her up and she was in unusually good spirits, which is unusual. She started telling me how the doctor wants to remove her hemmroids, but only the external ones. I have no idea really what this means but the visual images I am forming are frightening.

I then somehow got railroded. While we were sitting on the couch munching away on our tim hortons bagelst, I got bombarded with questions about the wedding. We've been engaged now for two months and I wish people would just get off by back. Now I am worried about the impending visit of my parentals this weekend. I wish there was some way to just bypass all this crap!

I have absolutely no desire to plan or have a wedding. I purused to obligitory library of bridal magazines and put in my time at the, and I'll Im left with is this: weddings are a pain in the but and they cost a lot of money. Money, which I for one would like to have for other things, like property. Some of my tulle-loving aquaintances would beg to differ.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

When did I grow up?

The rumors are true: stay as young as you can! In the flurry of events that has been the last week, I cannot help but think that my perents were right, that I should cherish my youth. Don't grow up too fast, they'd say but I never listened. As long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be older. I also had a summer birthday, so all throughout my youth I was the last one of all my friends to get my drivers liscense, painfully watching from the sidelines when all of my friends had their 21st birthday. Not that not being 21 stopped me from drinking, but still. So I have always wanted to be older. I always wanted to be a grown up, to live in a house, get married, have kids, etc...Now that I stand on the precipice I get this crazy feeling everyday. I am growing up, whether I like it or not. I got the house which is a pain in the ass (and the mortgage to go with it), the fiancee (who is also an ass) , the dog, neighborhood association meetings, grocery store hysteria. Maybe I need to up my alcohol intake to savor the last few drops of my "too young to know better-ness",